What’s the Deal with Naps?
So, what’s the deal with naps and why are they so much harder to perfect than nighttime sleep?
Your child may be a champion sleeper at night but may be hit or miss for naps during the day. You may also struggle with getting your child to sleep in their crib versus in the car or stroller for naps. Let’s talk about naps!
Tell me if this scenario sounds familiar…
Your baby wakes up in the morning after a solid night’s sleep. You feed her, change her, play with her for a little bit, take her for a little walk outside, then rock her to sleep and put her gently into her crib for her morning nap.
And then, 30 minutes later, she wakes up fussy and irritable and, despite your pleading, bargaining, and offers of riches, refuses to go back to sleep.
So after half an hour of trying to put her back down, you finally give in, hoping she’ll be that much more tired when her afternoon nap rolls around, only to have the exact same scenario happen again, and baby is even more cranky and irritable for the rest of the day and you know she won’t last until bedtime. You end up putting her in the car and going for a drive because you know it will work like a charm.
Here’s the thing, you can’t always drive around when you need your child to take a nap, nor would most people prefer that option. A nap that is induced by motion is not as restorative as a nap your child would take in their crib. However, you want to avoid overtiredness at all costs, so you do what you got to do.
Sleep, like food, is one of those elements where baby’s got the final say on whether or not they’re going to cooperate, so trying to force the issue will most likely irritate both of you. If they’re not sleeping, just leaving them in their room usually will just make your child more upset and grouchy.
So here’s the low down on what’s going on, and what you can do to fix it.
Babies, just like the rest of us, sleep in cycles. We all start off in a light state of sleep where we’re easily woken up. Then we gradually fall into a deeper stage of sleep where even loud noises or movement might not be able to rouse us. This is the really rejuvenating, restful sleep where our brains and bodies do all of the maintenance work that leaves us refreshed and energetic when we get enough of it.
Once we’ve come to the end of the deep-sleep cycle, we slowly start coming back to the light stage again, and typically we wake up for a few seconds and then drift off again, and the whole thing starts again.
In adults, one of those cycles usually takes about an hour and a half. However, in babies, it can be as little as 30 minutes. Is this all starting to make sense now?
So, the fact that your baby is waking up after only 30 minutes is actually completely natural. In fact, if she wasn’t waking up regularly, that might be cause for concern.
“But,” I know what you’re thinking, “I have friends whose babies nap for two or three hours at a time.” Well, that’s partially true. These babies are actually putting together several sleep cycles in a row. The only difference between their baby and your baby is…
Drumroll please…
They’ve learned how to fall back to sleep on their own.
That’s it. That really is the heart of the issue. Once your baby can fall asleep independently, your baby will start putting together those sleep cycles like an absolute champ. That’s going to make your baby feel rested and a whole lot happier. And as a bonus, mom gets quiet time to do whatever you like. (However, as a mom, “whatever you like” might not mean what it once did, but still, two hours twice a day to catch up on motherhood-related tasks or your own sleep is something we can all appreciate.)
So, remember back at the start of that scenario, there you were, getting ready to put baby down for her nap, gently rocking her to sleep and then putting her down in her crib.
Stop right there. That’s where you need to make some changes. Because in this scenario, you are acting as what we sleep consultants refer to as a “sleep prop.”
Stay with me now, let me explain. Sleep props are basically anything that your baby uses to make the transition from awake to asleep. Pacifiers are the most common example, but there are many others, including feeding, rocking, singing, bouncing, snuggling, and car rides.
Now wait, before you think that I’m a heartless momma who doesn’t like rocking and snuggling her child (because who doesn’t love to snuggle their little ones?)- I’m not saying you shouldn’t rock your baby, or sing to her, or read her stories, or love her like crazy. You absolutely should.
Just not to the point where she falls asleep.
When it comes to naps and bedtime, whatever time of the day that might be, put your baby down in her crib, while she’s still awake, and let her fall asleep on her own.
There might be a little bit of protest for a day or two, but for the majority of my clients, the results start to materialize in about two or three days.
Think about that. Two or three days, and you and your little one could be enjoying the extraordinary benefits of proper sleep. She’ll be happier, healthier, more energetic, and you’ll both sleep better at night to boot.
I hope that this explained the trouble with naps, but in case you’re still feeling a bit stumped, I’ve listed some pointers below. Also, our children are constantly growing and changing, just when you have their nap schedule down they could catch a cold or decide that they’re ready to drop one of their naps. My little one is constantly keeping me on my toes!
Some other pointers for extending baby’s nap time…
- Keep the bedroom as dark as possible. Buy some blackout blinds if the sun is getting in, or if you’re on a budget, tape some black garbage bags or even foil over the windows. It doesn’t have to be pretty, it just has to do the job.
- White noise machines are useful if baby tends to wake up due to various outside noises like the neighbor’s barking dog, the inconsiderate delivery guy ringing the doorbell, or even cars driving by. It also helps block any other noise inside the house that might startle them out of their nap, say maybe an older, louder sibling? Just make sure it’s not too close to their ears and not too loud. 50 dB is the recommended limit.
- If you’re running into trouble applying these suggestions, give me a call and set up a free 15 minute The solution might be simpler than it appears, and my clients see a dramatic improvement in the first week of working with me.