Tips for Easing Anxiety with Sleep
As a mom, you want the best for your child. You want to nurture them and help them grow. You want to make sure their basic needs are met- food, shelter, clothing, their health, and last but not least, sleep. If your child is not getting the sleep that they need this can bring you anxiety. I’m going to share some tips to ease your anxiety when it comes to your baby’s sleep.
The Problem with Striving for Perfect Sleep
Maybe you’ve worked hard to create good sleep habits for your child early on. However, as your child grows, their sleep needs change which can leave you scrambling to hold onto that “perfect” sleep. Obsessing over sleep when your child is having some struggles can be a big source of anxiety for parents.
If naps have been hit or miss you may find yourself stressing, watching the baby monitor instead of relaxing during a well-deserved break. After a long day, instead of looking forward to the peace that comes once the kids are asleep, you may be dreading bedtime. Bedtime can either be easy or a battle of wills when your child fights sleep.
I’m here to tell you that there’s no such thing as perfect sleep, we all have our good nights and bad. Sometimes the journey to sleep is fast and sometimes we struggle to get to sleep. It’s the same thing for your child. When you better understand your child’s sleep it can free you from that feeling of sleep perfectionism. Below are some strategies to help ease your anxiety.
1. Understand Newborn Sleep versus Infant Sleep
Newborn sleep is different from an older baby’s sleep. Newborns only have 2 stages of sleep. They don’t follow a regular sleep-wake cycle until they’re about 3 or 4 months old. They need time to develop their own circadian rhythms. It’s normal for your baby’s sleep to be irregular in the first few weeks of life. It isn’t a reflection of you or something that you’re doing wrong.
After the newborn stage babies go through a “sleep regression” or a reorganization of their sleep cycles. This ultimately changes their sleep, taking them from 2 stages of sleep to 4. If you notice a drastic change in your baby’s sleep you’re not alone. That’s when many mothers decide to make changes to sleep.
2. Implement a Consistent Bedtime Routine
Children thrive on routines. The purpose of a bedtime routine is to signal to your child that it’s time to wind down and get ready for sleep. You can incorporate a warm bath, a lullaby, or a bedtime story. Consistency is important so your child knows after the routine sleep is to follow. A cool dark room and white noise helps create a safe, soothing environment that encourages sleep. For more details on how to create a sleep sanctuary, download my free guide.
3. Follow Awake Windows
Awake windows are the amount of time your baby can handle awake before needing more sleep. Finding the optimal awake window for your child can help avoid overtiredness and help them fall asleep faster for naps and bedtime. It’s also important to keep your baby fully awake during this window of time so when you lay them down their sleep pressure or need for sleep is at it’s highest point. Follow this link to download my free awake window guide.
4. Wait Before Rushing In
In the middle of the night, or even after a short nap, if your baby is stirring, I always recommend waiting before rushing in. When your baby starts stirring they are most likely transitioning sleep cycles and babies often self-soothe and fall back to sleep on their own. This can help them develop self-soothing skills and reduce sleep-related anxiety for you. If you go in too soon you will interrupt that process, which will in turn wake your baby up.
5. Practice Self-Care
Being a mother is exhausting, especially if your child is having sleep struggles. Remember to take care of yourself too. Self-care can include simple activities like a short walk, a relaxing bath, or a moment of mindfulness. If you are behind on sleep, see if a friend or family member can watch the baby while you nap. When you’re well rested, calm and relaxed, it’s easier to cope with sleep disturbances without spiking your anxiety levels.
6. Establish a Support System
Lean on friends and family when you can, but it’s important to connect with other mothers who are experiencing similar challenges. It can be comforting to know you’re not alone. It’s also a great way to share advice, experiences, and reassurances. The Peanut App is a great place to meet local moms. Sometimes you may need an expert’s help. It’s okay to ask for help, no one is perfect – despite what you see on social media.
Striving for perfect sleep for your baby can lead you to strive for sleep perfectionism, which can amplify stress and anxiety. It’s important to understand that perfection is a myth – in sleep and in motherhood.
You’re doing a great job even if your baby’s sleep isn’t perfect. Break free from the perfectionism trap, and you’ll find that both you and your baby can have a more restful night.
If you find that yourself truly struggling with your baby’s sleep and need a more in depth solution, book a free call with me. Sometimes you just need a detailed plan of action and someone there supporting you every step of the way. Motherhood is hard, it’s okay to ask for help.