How to Survive the Holidays
I love the holiday season! But it feels like it’s so far away, there’s so much preparation for it and then whoosh it’s over too soon. During the holidays you may have plans to travel and see family. However, you may worry if you have recently gotten your baby sleeping on a schedule that they might regress a little over the holidays.
Well, I am here to tell you, that those fears could not be more justified.
Between the travel, the excitement, the constant attention and then travel all over again, the holidays are the single easiest way to throw all of your hard work out with the wrapping paper and turkey bones.
But I’m happy to tell you that it doesn’t have to be that way! So how can you survive the holidays unscathed? With some strategic planning and determination, you can keep that carefully orchestrated routine running just the way you did at home.
There are two major obstacles to your little one’s sleep over the holidays. The first is travel and the second is family and friends. I am going to tackle both of those topics individually.
First off, travel.
If you’re thinking about starting to sleep train your little one, but you’ve got to take a trip in a few weeks, my suggestion is to put off the training until you get back. (However, if you’re looking for an excuse to cancel your trip, not wanting to throw your baby’s sleep schedule off track is a pretty good one. This is coming from a sleep consultant who highly values sleep, so I’m not sure if everyone else will agree!)
If you’ve already started training or recently finished, don’t panic, keep reading! Traveling typically won’t help your little one sleep better, but if you are able to maintain some degree of normalcy until the end of your trip, you and baby should be ready to get back to business as soon as you get home.
If you’re traveling in the car, one tip would be to schedule your driving time over baby’s naps. Car naps aren’t ideal, but compared to no naps at all, they’re the lesser of two evils by a mile. So if at all possible, get on the road right around the time that baby would normally be taking their first nap.
If you have a really long drive and you know your child will need a break from the car, you might even look for some parks, tourist attractions, or other outdoor activities that are on your route. That way you can stop when baby wakes up and needs a break from the car seat. It’s a great chance to get out into the sunshine and fresh air, which will make that next nap that much easier.
If you’re flying, well, that’s a completely different scenario.
It’s no secret that planes and babies just don’t seem to like each other, so I suggest (and this is the only time you’ll hear me say this) that you do whatever you need to in order to keep your sanity! I would be prepared to just get through the flight with a minimum amount of fuss. Hand out snacks, let them play with your phone, and otherwise let them do anything they want to do.
The truth is, if they don’t want to sleep on the plane, they’re just not going to, so don’t try to force it. It will just result in a lot of frustration for both of you. (And, most likely, the passengers around you.) I experienced this firsthand with my youngest. She slept great on the way there but was a nightmare on the way home. I tried everything to try and get her to sleep and it only made her cry more, so just prepare for that situation.
Alright! So, you’ve arrived, and hopefully you’ve managed to maintain some degree of sanity. Now, I’m sorry to say, comes the hard part.
Because in the car or on the plane, everybody is on your side, right? Keeping baby quiet and relaxed, and hopefully asleep, is just what everyone is hoping for.
But now that you’re at Grandma and Grandpa’s place, it’s just the opposite. Everyone wants baby awake so they can see them, play with them, take a thousand pictures, and get them ridiculously overstimulated. And it’s exceptionally difficult to tell all of these loved ones that you’re putting an end to the fun because baby needs to get to sleep.
So, if you need permission to be the bad guy, I’m giving it to you right here and now. Don’t negotiate, don’t make exceptions, and don’t feel bad about it. Let me tell you that overtiredness does not make for a cute and happy baby, so if anyone tries to argue with you, remember it’s your baby who is going to be cranky. Just let them know when baby will be getting up and tell them to hang around, come back, or catch you the next time. Or better yet, tell people in advance when to expect some baby time based on baby’s schedule.
I know it sounds harsh, but the alternative is an almost immediate backslide right back into day one. Baby misses a nap, gets all keyed up because of all the new faces and activity, then overtiredness kicks in, cortisol production goes up, and the next nap is ruined. Then the overtiredness derails nighttime sleep, and before you know it, baby is miserable. Before you know it, you’re headed home with a cranky overtired baby who is totally off schedule!
I’m not even slightly exaggerating. It happens that quickly.
So OK, you’ve steeled your nerves and let everyone know that you’re not budging on baby’s schedule. She took her naps at the right times, and now it’s time for bed. The only catch is that, with all of the company staying at the house, there’s only one room for you and baby.
No problem, right? Bed sharing for a few nights isn’t the end of the world, after all. Maybe you’ve done it before.
I wish I could agree, but again, you want to make this as little of a deviation from the normal routine as possible, and babies can develop a real affinity for co-sleeping in as little as one night.
So, this may sound a little unconventional, but if you’re sharing a room, there’s an easy solution.
Find a way to make it into two rooms.
I’m not saying you need to bust out the lumber and drywall, but I do suggest hanging a blanket, setting up a dressing screen, or, yes, I’m going to go ahead and say it, put baby in the closet.
That sounds crazy, I know, but really, a decent sized closet is a great place for baby to sleep. It’s dark, it’s quiet, she won’t be distracted by being able to see you, and people accidentally walking in and out of the room are much less likely to distract her.
And while we’re on the subject of “no exceptions,” that rule extends to all other sleep props. You might be tempted to slip baby a pacifier or rock her to sleep if she’s disturbing the rest of the house, but baby is going to latch on to that really, really quickly, and chances are you’ll be waking up every hour or two, rocking baby back to sleep or putting her pacifier back in, which is going to end up disturbing everyone a lot worse than a half hour of crying at 7:00 at night.
Now, on a serious note, I find the biggest reason that parents give in on these points is, quite simply, because they’re embarrassed. There’s a house full of eyes and they’re all focused on the new baby, and by association, the new parents.
If you want to try and avoid this, just be upfront with your family and explain to them that your baby’s sleep is important to you. So, if they hear some crying and wonder why you’re doing XYZ, you gave them a heads up. The feeling that everyone is making judgments about how you’re parenting is nearly overwhelming in these family gatherings, but in those moments, remember what’s really important here.
Your baby, your family, and their health and well-being.
There may be a few family members who feel upset because you put baby to bed just when they got in the door, but remember, this is your baby and you are protecting her sleep. Your mother might tell you that putting your baby in the closet for the night is ridiculous, but again you’re doing this to ensure your child gets her sleep, which is so important!
Stand tall and remember that you’re an amazing momma who is just looking to protect her baby’s sleep and in turn yours as well! Sleep is so important for a baby’s growing body and mind and having this great sleep routine in place now will make her a better sleeper in the future!
Happy Holidays!